I really wasn’t sure about writing this post, and deliberated over it for weeks. I was scared that I would be setting myself up to fail again, but this time publicly! I have started and failed so many “diets” or “lifestyle changes” over the last few years, that Im not sure even I believe I can succeed anymore. All I know is that I have to keep trying, and as my blog is a reflection of me and my real life, I thought I would write about and share this part of my journey on it. Wish me luck!
My real troubles with my weight didn’t start until I turned about 35. Up until then my weight had stayed pretty normal. I fluctuated a few pounds here and there, but no real problem on the whole. I think that the massive lifestyle changes that having two small children brings were a contributing factor, as well as trying to adapt to my new found position in life. Id gone from being a hard working, hard partying career girl, to an exhausted Mum with two kids, no money and a part time job. I don’t mind admitting that I struggled with the adjustment!
Anyway, over the following years, and for various reasons, I slowly gained weight. I have done the usual starting diets on a Monday, failing by Wednesday, and its not good for you psychologically I tell you. You end up constantly beating yourself up over yet another failure, yet another false start. My confidence plummeted as my weight gained, and it affected how I thought and felt. Countless times Iv not accepted invitations to places or events as I was so upset with how I felt/looked, and was scared of the judgement I might face. Its crazy how it can affect and distort your life and your view of yourself. You can feel totally invisible yet overly-noticed. Its horrible.
Well this time round I am not following any diet plan. Lets face it, we all know what makes us gain weight, (and my love of cake is well documented on my Instagram and blog). My approach this time is going to be on health, rather than weight. I have always focused on the scales previously, now Im going to concentrate on eating healthier, trying to incorporate exercise into my life, and having a balanced approach. In the past Iv been all or nothing. If I was on a diet it was Thou-shall-not-eat-a-single-morsal-of-sin (totally unsustainable) if I wasn’t on a diet, Go-girl-eat-as-much-cake-as-you-can.
So, my plan is to use books like Deliciously Ella as my guide, (the whole plant based diet approach is good for me as I am a non meat eater). Cooking healthy food from scratch, (like this beauty here) being organised and prepared with my meals (big challenge for me) allowing myself treats but not daily (or hourly if the mood took me) and trying to find time to exercise. We love getting out in the country and walking with our dog, so more of that maybe. Who knows, maybe over time I will find the confidence to walk into a gym class or join a dance class or something!
I have weighed myself, and although I am not brave enough to disclose my weight yet, (the thought of doing that gives me anxiety) I will tell you I was shocked and upset. Facing the music is always a hard step eh? I have said I am not going to focus on weight, and Im not, but scales are a visual “progress report” on how Im doing aren’t they, so I will weigh in, perhaps fortnightly or something, just to see whats happening there. I will gladly share any recipes I discover along the way, any tips I uncover or just generally update on my progress on my blog. Its crazy how nervous I feel about sharing this. Anyone that has had weight struggles will understand the debilitating, damaging affect that it has on you mentally as well as physically, so it makes me feel pretty exposed. However, the struggle is real, this is my blog about my journey through my 40’s and beyond, so that means warts and all!
The above breakfast was actually delicious! Fits in with me brilliantly as you make it the night before so its quick, easy, and ready in the morning. Perfect.
4 tablespoons of Chia seeds Teaspoon of agave nectar
250 ml of coconut milk (or other if your prefer) 2 tblsp Dairy free Coconut yoghurt
pinch of cinnamon
So, lets do this. Lets get this show on the road and get back to being healthy. I know its going to be a long slog, but Rome wasn’t built in a day! Please feel free to offer up any tips, food ideas, fun exercise that doesn’t involve a gym, someone that will wire a jaw, no questions asked. Anything at all really!