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Sometimes, Youve Just Gotta Own Your Shiz

November 26, 2017

Its Cuppa and a chat time people, you know the drill, grab a cuppa, pull up a pew, lets chat…

This post is a little bit of introspectiveness. Its about being honest with yourself, and as the title says, sometimes owning your own shiz!

Iv mentioned before that I am a big believer in getting down and dirty with your soul. Its about understanding what makes you tick and being self aware. Soul work is murky, it can be painful, but I think that it has to be done in order to grow. Life often gives you the lessons and teachings you need to develop your soul, and maaannnnn have I had some lessons, but I feel one of the biggest ways to become a nicer person, is to unravel yourself. Take a good long look in the mirror and accept and acknowledge yourself, warts and all

The inspiration behind this post was feelings that I had the other day, that I didn’t like, was surprised to feel and had to take a moment to understand why. Anyone that has been around for a while knows that on the most part, I try to be a positive person. I try to always be kind, and try hard to always support others.

However, the other day I felt less than positive towards someone, and found myself having a fleeting, negative reaction to them. I felt annoyed at the way they chose to conduct themselves, when, lets face it, Im not their Mother, its none of my bloody business. Now, thats not usually me and I have spent a long time as Iv gotten older, trying to work on the ethos that we are all different, live and let live etc, and these thoughts were at odds and a regression in my headway with that ethos. Why??

I was annoyed at myself, feeling like I had stepped back mentally 20 years, and wanted to work out why I had that reaction. I felt mean, judgemental and unkind. I was beating myself up a bit over it, feeling disappointed.

Then it occurred to me. The very fact that I was asking why I had that reaction was good enough. The fact that I was disappointed in myself with that reaction meant I was doing ok. I hadn’t suddenly become a mean, intolerant person, it just meant that I wasn’t perfect and am going to have gut reactions sometimes. It showed that I am still pushing forward and growing as a person, Im going to have less than kind thoughts sometimes, but that I recognise them and will make moves to question why. I also worked out that whenever I have these negative reactions to someone, its about ME not them. (Remember my post Your just not always someones cup of tea? We spoke about this in that one)

Sitting and questioning why I felt annoyed that this person Instagram Storied their every move, when lets face it, its really not a big deal, was because of the way I was feeling. I was having a day of feeling frustrated and scared about the situation my family is currently in and the way life has changed. I was feeling anxious. I was frustrated that we can only make very short term plans at the moment. I was basically just having a shitty, down in the dumps, pity party for one day that made me not want to see people rambling on and on about “trivial shit” (that was my feeling at that moment, I know it wasn’t trivial shit to them)  so it wasn’t anything to do with them. (I know now if Im feeling less than chipper, don’t go on and watch Instagram Stories haha)

walking in the woods brings clearer thoughts

Walking in the woods is where I do lots of my soul work, it clears the mind.

What I suppose Im trying to say here, in my usual rambling way, is when you have a negative reaction to a person/situation, try to ask yourself the million dollar question, Why. Why are you feeling unkind towards that person. Why are you having that thought. I think that if you ask yourself that one simple word, unravel your soul a little, you will understand your self a bit more. You will grow as a person. Its definitely making me a better person.

Its ok to not be perfect, its ok to not be a saint. I have, like we have all had, times in my past when I have probably not been the nicest I could be. But, as long as you try to delve a little deeper to understand what triggers that negative reaction, you are owning your shit, you are doing soul work. Your trying to find a kinder way. Thats all any of us can do really isn’t it!

So, what about you? Do you own your own shit? Are you always looking at ways to grow your soul? As always, let me know your thoughts and feelings xx


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27 responses to “Sometimes, Youve Just Gotta Own Your Shiz”

  1. I think this post is great and so true – I’ve gone through some tough times recently and often beat myself up about how I’m feeling but, like you said, the very fact that I’m analysing what I’m doing or thinking is a testament to me trying at least. Better that than recklessly going through life bouncing from one emotion to the next without learning.

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Yes Yes Yes Jane! Im so sorry that you have had tough times lately, but Im glad you are managing to turn it into a positive by learning and growing. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment xxx

  2. abigaleloves says:

    Such lovely words. Definitely made me stop and reflect

  3. Abigale Shirley says:

    ooops… posted too early.

    I love these kinds of chatty posts. Thank you Kerry xx

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Oh thank you so much Abigale. It makes me so happy that you enjoy these posts, they are probably my favourite kind to write in many ways. I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to comment xx

  4. What an honest post, I’ve often found myself having less-than-healthy thoughts that tend to manifest themselves into stress or just general toxic-ness in my life. I find that your environment has a huge influence on these kinds of thoughts when they surface, and even the kinds of thoughts you have. Very important to take a breather and do that soul work – I always feel better afterwards xx

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      I think if we can acknowledge that we are less than perfect, then we continue to grow. I totally agree with you about the enviroment you are in too. You can get caught up in it cant you. Thats where the WHY question comes in. It makes you focus on the reasons you feel that way, rather than going with the default or learned response. Soul work rocks! Thanks for reading my lovely xx

  5. Love your chatty posts Kerry! I feel I’m the total same, whenever things are stressful/upsetting in my life, that’s when I tend to have negative thoughts about others. You deserve a medal for everything you’re going through right now!
    PaleGirlRambling xo

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Aww thank you, not sure about the medal but I do think we need to cut ourselves some slack sometimes dont we. As long as we work out why, I think we are doing ok. Im glad its not often I feel like it haha xx Thanks for stopping by x

  6. A very refreshingly honest post. I think this is the best way to look at your emotions. We should not ignore the negative ones or go about our day with those thoughts festering. We should ask ourselves why – something I am going to really focus on. x

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Thank you so much, Im glad you agree. That little word, why, can just put everything into focus cant it. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment xx

  7. I totally thought i’d commented on this. I always try and own up if i’m being petty or judgemental, doesn’t happen often but sometimes a thought slips into my mind and I just think that’s so not nice and usually ends up with me just feeling down. You’re so right with the importance of why. I love this post, so relevant and something I feel most of us can relate to xx

  8. theglassofclass says:

    It is such a great post! Honestly, you made me think so much about my behaviour and soul and how I react to things. I hate overreacting and when it does happen it makes me feel really bad, but then I just have to accept it, learn from it and move on. The moving on part, I’m still working on that, but every day is a new opportunity to learn!

    Julia xx

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Ohh Julia thank you so much for saying that, Im so glad that it gives you food for thought. Im the same as you, I hate it when I overreact, but the fact we acknowledge it means we are working on ourselves. The moving on part is tough, but Im positive you will find your way xx. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it xx

  9. Great post and agree. I sometime feel when I react negatively to something it might be the universe telling me to have a closer look at myself. Could this be a reflection I’m not dealing with? We feel what we feel and for growth I agree it is looking inside.

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Thats such a good way of thinking of it! I do think that we are guided in what we need to do etc, so thats a great point. Thank you for sharing that point xx. I appreciate you reading x

  10. highstreetbeauty11 says:

    I’ve been looking forward to reading this one, Kerry and I completely agree with you. It’s vital we know our own selves inside out so that we can have meaningful relationships with others x

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Oh thats such a nice thing to hear, thank you! You are so right, we cant have honest relationships if we are not honest with ourselves can we. Thank you so much for reading, you know I appreciate your support so much xx

  11. kaybe610 says:

    Beautiful post Kerry! Most of the time I do own my own shit yes 😀 but many times I don’t I’m afraid to admit… but you’re so right, you can’t but try! And I do try to be positive as I think that gives you a head start!

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Ah dont be afraid to admit, the very fact that you are aware is a huge positive xx. Yes I think a positive outlook can work wonders, although we al have those days when we feel low. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment xx

  12. Mrs.S LDN says:

    I think its really awesome and super cool how you took this situation and looked at it from this angle. It is not easy pointing fingers at yourself and I think you are way cooler than I initially thought (You where cool before but now your cooler :)) xxx

    • kerrylifeandloves says:

      Hahahaha! Thank you, I try to tell my teenage sons that they dont realise how cool I am haha! In all seriousness, I think when you learn to see yourself, warts and all, life becomes easier because you understand why you can act a certain way x Thanks for reading my lovely xxxx

      • Mrs.S LDN says:

        In time I have no doubt they will realise it and so much more 🙂 Just wait until they move out and have to spereate there own washing. For me that was a turning point in my own life with my mom hahaha!! This really rang true for me re: my work at the moment and made me step back and think about me and my position so thank you for that!! xx

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