How you Make People Feel about Themselves says a lot About You

Do you agree??

Its a quote that I love, and I agree with it a million percent. We all have the ability to make a moment in someones day better don’t we, so shouldn’t we always try to?

Let me give you a little background on where my thought process came from with this post. You know me and my ramblings by now, my brain has the thoughts come in, I have to get it out there….

As most of you probably know, I owned a skincare and beauty salon until January last year. Throughout my time owning my salon, I did a lot of work with my staff on customer service and keeping a positive atmosphere. I truly believe that one of the key’s to success in business is delivering more than the clients expectation. I remember going to a conference on customer service, and listening to an amazingly successful business owner give a talk on what he called the “Five Star Service”. One of the points in it was that he felt, that we (as in, our businesses) should strive to be the best part of someones day. It made a lot of sense to me. Someone could be coming in for a treatment because they are stressed, or sad or struggling, and by making them feel special and being attentive to them, (basically doing our job well, but with genuine care of how the client felt) we could lift their spirits and make them feel good. Perhaps give them a little escapism for an hour or so. How wonderful is that?

I think that this should be applied to general life. I honestly think it would make not only us happier, but it feels so nice to be nice. (Its ok, Im not a Disney character, I like to be nice but I do get the hump and F and blind like a sailor sometimes) Im also talking about genuine kindness here too, not just words that you dont feel. Insincerity is rubbish!

Think of the simplest things, like walking past someone and they smile at you. Its a pleasant surprise isn’t it, (as long as they are not smiling in a creepy, mentalist serial killer kind of way). Going into a shop and getting good service, it makes the experience so much more memorable dosent it? The sales assistant takes care with your purchase, wraps it nice, it makes it feel a little more special.

Well, what about you? Do you try to make a moment in someones day a little nicer? You probably do without even realising. For example, your friend arrives to pick you up for the dinner date you have planned with her. She has a gorgeous top on and you tell her how much you like it. She feels great. Familiar scenario?

There is a saying, that “you never know what battles someone is fighting, so be kind, always”.  It really resonates with me. We have all had tough times. We have all had times where our strength is tested. Those times can make our hearts heavy and the constant threat of tears is ever present. Imagine you are having one of those days, and someone compliments you on your make up. Or they leave you a wonderful comment on your blog post. It lifts you. It makes you feel good inside. I fully understand the power of this as it happened to me recently. I was having a day where I was feeling a little overwhelmed by everything going on in my life at the moment, struggling and tearful, and someone left me the most amazing comment on a blog post. It made me cry (but in a happy way), totally lifted my spirits and made me kick myself up the butt. That persons kindness made such a huge difference to my day.

my thoughtful, contemplative look haha

There is of course a flip side to this. When you leave someone feeling a bit rubbish! When people are a little passive aggresive, and say things that they know will make you feel bad. That speaks a thousand words about them, trust me!

The jobs I have done in my adult working life have mostly been in very female dominated work environments. It seems, a lot of women tend to have an in-built trait in them that makes them compete with other women.  Not always in a nasty way, but its there. I talked a little about this is my post from a while back,  Are you a Trophy Friend. Women can struggle to compliment or support other women. It is usually to do with their own insecurities, women can have a fear of what other women may become, (but thats a topic for another day, I could talk about the psychology of that subject for hours). Its something as women, we need to change, and I do think it is, thankfully. I know the blogging community can have a lot of negativity and talk of lack of support surrounding it, but for me personally, I have found it nothing but supportive and friendly on the most part. I have built some amazing relationships in it, and do my best to support my friends blogs etc. I want to see them do well!

So, as per the title of this post, how you make someone feel about themselves says a lot about you. Making someone feel good, It says you are secure in yourself, you want to make someone know you appreciate something they have done/worn/said/wrote etc. Leaving someone better than you find them, is a lovely thing and could literally, change someones day.

Take a moment to tell that stranger you love their perfume, let your friend know how beautiful she is, take the time to leave a comment on that wonderful blog post you just read, make small talk with the person sitting in the waiting room. Anything really. You never know what that moment of time could do for them.

What do you think? Have you ever had your spirits lifted by someones kindness? Do you feel you leave people better than you find them? Id love to hear any of your experiences or thoughts xx


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  1. Lise
    January 24, 2018 / 9:02 am

    This was a great read 🙂 I always try to make others happy, even if they’re not being nice to me. Dad has always told me to kill people with kindness so that’s what I do, no matter how they treat me because I want to be the better person hehe x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 12:53 pm

      Ahh thats lovely. I agree with killing people with kindness, especially people that are unkind. They need our kindness the most. Thank you for stopping by xx

  2. January 24, 2018 / 9:22 am

    I worked in a team of all women once and the herd mentality in that room was a bit draining. Making someone feel good about themselves is great! Doing that when everyone else is afraid to because it’s not the cool thing to do and they’re the person everyone is out to get that week is harder – but still worth it!

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 12:50 pm

      Yes thats so true, and I love how you have worded that, herd mentality. Thats a great description. Thanks for popping by x

  3. January 24, 2018 / 9:26 am

    I can be a bit direct sometimes, but in another job we had a lot of people passing through the office and I did try to make time for people and find out how they were doing. Particularly when work is stressful, it can be hard to find the time to take that few minutes extra with someone, but I know that people appreciated it so tried not to rush people through just to get the job done.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 12:46 pm

      Oh I hear ya! We are all human and have days where we are less tolerant. The fact you recognise it says a lot xx. It feels good to be nice dosent it. Thank you so much for reading xxx

  4. January 24, 2018 / 10:39 am

    This is such an important and true post, I absolutely loved reading it. I always try my best to be kind to people always, it’s so true that it shows so much about our character!x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 12:43 pm

      Im so glad you enjoyed the post. I hope it came across the way I intended it. Thank you for reading xx

  5. January 24, 2018 / 11:31 am

    Great post. I think women have to start supporting each other and realize there is enough happiness and success for EVERYONE. My thing is if you make eye contact with anyone (stranger whoever) you nod and smile and that person deserves to be acknowledged. It does say something about us. thank you.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 12:41 pm

      You are so right! Thats a lovely thing to do, making eye contact with everyone. It acknowledges them as a person dosent it. I love that. Thank you so much for reading and commenting x

  6. January 24, 2018 / 2:40 pm

    This is really good advice, I know I definitely don’t think enough about how my actions and behaviour affect others!

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 3:12 pm

      Thank you Niall, I hope it is useful! I think we can all be guilty of that at times, but recognising it is half the battle eh! Thank you for stopping by, much appreciated

  7. January 24, 2018 / 3:40 pm

    I completely agree with you. I always make a point to make people feel amazing. It’s so important to realize how much your actions affect other people. You should always try to be aware, especially in regards to those closest to you! Great post Kerry xxx

    Melina |

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 8:02 pm

      Thank you, I am so glad you agree. I think we should all try to lift each other, life can be bloody hard, plus, it feels nice to know you have made someone feel good about themselves! Its a win win lol. Thank you for reading xx

  8. Leah Oliviah
    January 24, 2018 / 5:12 pm

    I believe in Karma so however you decided to treat others it will come back to you. So I always treat others kindly first. I also feel like this has to do a lot with bullying, because when people bully others and make them feel bad it’s because they feel bad too. Hence the saying “misery loves company”.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 7:58 pm

      Hi Leah, thank you for stopping by. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Those people that are hurtful, are usually hurting inside the most! I believe in Karma too, totally with you there. Thank you for joining in the chat xx

  9. Louise Rowling
    January 24, 2018 / 6:02 pm

    Here here! I think always pick out a positive never a negative! And if that makes someone day all the better! Great blog! Xx

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 24, 2018 / 7:56 pm

      Thank you so much. Thats a great way to think of it, pick out the positive! I like that. Thank you for your comment xxx

  10. January 24, 2018 / 9:07 pm

    Another thought provoking post Kerry.
    I always think you never know what is going on in someones life. A smile or kind work can’t hurt can it?
    I am turning into that person(my mum) that talks to strangers in Waitrose!
    Have a lovely evening,

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 25, 2018 / 8:39 am

      hahaha Me too! I talk to strangers everywhere, especially the elderly. My husband just shakes his head at me. We are all battling, its a lovely thing to brighten someones day xx Thanks for reading x

  11. January 24, 2018 / 9:08 pm

    I think I am paranoid about how I treat others and how they see me. I always try to be kind and then beat myself up if I think I haven’t been. I think it is such an interesting thing to think about though and a little kindness definitely goes along way 🙂 x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 25, 2018 / 8:37 am

      Ahh dont be too hard on yourself, we are only human xx. I agree with you about it being an interesting subject, I love the psychology of it all! Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting x

  12. Covet Luxe
    January 24, 2018 / 9:25 pm

    Such a lovely post, I love the thought of making someones day with a lovely comment. I usually keep myself to myself, but maybe next time I’ll express my compliments and kindness to others 🙂 x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 25, 2018 / 8:34 am

      Yayyy! Do it! Its a lovely surprise for the person but also makes you feel so good knowing you have made someone smile. Thank you for reading xx

  13. January 25, 2018 / 2:50 am

    Awesome advice. I am a school teacher and practice yoga often. I always try to be as kind and understanding of people as possible, you never know what their day/life is like. And a little kindness can brighten someones whole day!

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 25, 2018 / 8:32 am

      That is so true! How nice is it that we can be responsible for brightening someones day. Thank you so much for stopping by x

  14. highstreetbeauty11
    January 26, 2018 / 2:25 pm

    I am very conscious of this and try hard to smile at strangers or give compliments. Sometimes it then gets overwhelming as I worry that I can’t spread that warmth around to everyone. Great post, Kerry x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 26, 2018 / 4:06 pm

      Well, I can tell you right now, you come across as one of the most warm people that I have met in blogging, so you have no worries about that xx. It oozes out of you. Thank you for popping over to read lovely lady xxx

  15. January 28, 2018 / 10:30 pm

    This is so true, I always try to treat people the way i want to be treated and be as kind as possible as it can make them feel much more positive, spread kindness is the key

    • kerrylifeandloves
      January 28, 2018 / 11:14 pm

      I totally agree, kindness is the key. It feels good too when you make someone smile. Its a win win! Thanks for stopping by xxx

  16. February 3, 2018 / 9:27 pm

    Brilliant post and I couldn’t agree with you more. Although I’m guilty of having my moments and not always being the nicest me. It also gives yourself a little lift when you’re being kind or thoughtful. You benefit just as the other person does.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      February 3, 2018 / 9:47 pm

      Thank you so much! i think we all have times where our halo falls a little 🙂 You are so right, it makes us feel good to be nice too. Totally agree with you x. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment xxx

  17. Gabby Jones
    July 31, 2019 / 5:32 pm

    I’m a bit late to this post but still never too late to say I 100% agree with this. I’ve only started working in a retail facing job for the first time in over 20 years and I can say it’s definitely made me a much happier person. I love being around people and making their day a little better. They end up happy, I’m feeling good for making them happy and we all win! The world is a much nicer place to live when you appreciate the little things.
    But sometimes you do forget, or you patience is limited. This was a good reminder for me that I need to be a bit more aware and kinder to those colleagues that are somewhat annoying at times.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      July 31, 2019 / 10:30 pm

      Gabby thank you so much for popping across and reading. Im always happy to hear peoples opinion, no matter how long ago the post was published. I agree with you, it feels so good to make someone feel nice. It spreads a smile which is lovely. We can all let our patience run a little thin, we are only human, but at least you are aware of it. Have a fabulous week and thank you so much for your input xx

I love reading your comments x

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