Looking back on the Year, (the year of the plot twist)!

It has been 6 months since I shared my thoughts with you over here. I never intended to be away that long. A month at the most was my plan. Well, looking back on the year I realised what a laugh that was! I really should know by now that plans are for people that live in the land of unicorns and mermaids….

It’s great to be looking back over the year with you

I thought the most sensible thing to do, is return to Kerry Life and Loves, with a little catch up. A little looking back on the year. A run down of how 2021 panned out for us, and a little of what you can expect from me next year. It’s weird you know, having been away for six months, I feel a little bit shy talking to you all! So, as is my standard go to when I feel awkward, I will probably totally over share, ramble to fill the silence and generally go off in a gazillion tangents! Enjoy……..

Why I took a break

I decided that I wanted to take a month away, to see if I missed it. That month turned into six but the reasons for that may become apparent as we chat! But one big reason was, I had got in my own way. That is the truth of the matter. I let the sometimes serious side of blogging get inside my head. I was listening to the cries that anyone that blogs should be doing sponsored content/ads galore/niche content etc. These thoughts were like the blogging grinch. They stole my joy. I did not want to only write about eco living or travel. Yes, these are important areas of my life, but so is my home, my self care routine, my reading obsession. I wanted to write about anything and everything! I had mentioned (funnily enough, in last years round up post), that I would be going back to the old skool style of blogging. Using my blog like an online diary, a place to share fab finds, a place to share hints and tips I discover. Anything really! Looking back on the year I realised that I love chatting with you all via my blog. I really missed blogging. I want to go back to chatting like I would if we were sitting having a coffee. Just chewing the cud (what does that even mean? What is cud???) Anyway, moving forward, my blog will be a lifestyle blog through and through. You could find me writing about pretty much anything! Except fashion……Im still happiest in my pj’s…..

Looking back on the Year – Travel

Well, this will be the shortest paragraph! Even with my tendancy to ramble, there is not much to tell under this heading! We have not been on a plane since our trip to Sofia in early 2020. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I miss travelling, I know many people have lost far, far more than a trip overseas. I am eternally grateful that all those I love are still here and healthy. I recognise my privilege and good fortune. We did manage to get a trip to Norfolk in the Summer this year. We hired the most beautiful period property via AirBNB in the village of Upwell. It had 6 bedrooms so Nik and I, my parents, our sons and their girlfriends all had the most wonderful few days there. I will tell you more about it in a future post as the house is just perfect for a family getaway. We had such a lovely time and it was so good to all be together.

I also had a few days away in September, on a nature retreat with my friend. It was a simple wooden lodge, surrounded by the nature of the New Forest. We totally immersed ourselves in cosiness. The beauty of Autumn was all around us. We had wine, snuggly blankets, lots of chat and a log burner. It really was all we needed for a very restorative few days away. Again, more about that, and some fabulous day’s out that we have had, coming soon. We are hoping to do a lot of UK breaks next year…….

The Return of Cancer

Yeah. Rubbish news I am having to include in this reflecting on the year post. As I am sure you can imagine, this was a bit of a curve ball! Devastatingly, we found out in September that Nik’s cancer had returned. Those of you that have been with me a while, would know Niks battle with cancer. Since his huge, life saving operation that he had in Basingstoke, we have counted our blessings. Never, ever did we take anything for granted, but as the distance of time grew, so too did our hope that we had finally put cancer firmly in the past. We tentativly made plans for our future. We slowly stopped looking behind us, only forwards. The light and laughter that has ALWAYS been in our lives, was growing even stronger, brighter. Then a routine scan picked up something on Niks lung and liver. We were back on the treadmill. Back in the routine of holding our beaths, waiting for results. Back to swallowing down the panic that threatens to overwhelm you some days. We found out in the third week of September, that Nik was indeed, facing a new battle. Lung cancer was the new opponent. Thankfully only lung, the liver was clear of cancer. Once again, we found the steel in our spines, faced forwards with determination and became battle ready.

As I write this post, Nik is two weeks on from having half of his lung removed. He is doing amazing. As Nik always does, he achieved the impossible. He was breathing on his own just 3 hours after he came round from the anesthetic. He was up walking just 6 hours after. The next day, his drains were removed and he came home. Don’t ever tell Nik how he will recover. He will prove you wrong evey time. We will find out in the New Year if more chemo will be required. But for now, we again, count our blessings. We are so grateful that we live in a Country where our NHS give you back your hope. The routine scans that Nik was still having mean that the cancer was picked up early. The fact that his history was already known meant he was operated on very quickly. The skill of the surgeon provided us with total confidence that once again, cancer will not be claiming my husband. Not today Satan……(ok, cancer but it works better with Satan right….)?

I launched a Business

Ok, it may not have been the most sensible thing to do, but a week after we found out about Nik, I launched a business. Nik was absolutely insistent that the six-month-in-the-planning launch still went ahead. He has always been the businesses biggest fan, (and my biggest cheerleader), so the lauch went ahead. My business, Whist, has been in the making since 2015! I almost launched in 2017, but life had other plans for us then as well. However, with a lot of juggling, and a lot of focus, Whist was launched on the 20th September. It actually gave Nik and I an exciting, positive focus when so much horrible stuff was going on around us. We also somehow, managed to keep all the balls in the air. Bonus! We both agree that actually, it was the perfect time for the launch.

My blog will not become a sales platform for my brand, but if you are at all interested, here is a little of the detail. Whist is a luxury, eco conscious, home fragrance brand. Totally inspired by, and respectful to nature. With every purchase Whist plants trees in non-profit reforestation programmes. It helps support an animal rescue charity. Whist is heart led, treads gently on the planet and gives back. Every product is created using essential oils, by me, harnassing my 18 years of aromatherapy experience. My aim is that a Whist product not only fills your home with sophisticated, evocotive scent, but supports your wellbeing too. You can visit my brand just here.

My Meditation Practise

Earlier this year, I took a mindfulness meditation course with a Lay Zen Buddhist (and cherished friend). I have spoken to you before about my meditation practise, and decided that this year I wanted to deepen it. It was a conclusion I came to looking back on the year last year funnily enough! I have a huge interest in Buddhist philosophy, so when the opportunity for this course arose, I saw it as a sign. It was fascinating, and made me appreciate the benefits of meditation even more fully. I absolutely give credit to meditation as the tool that helps me navigate choppy seas. It helps me to lean into, and face everything that is thrown at me. I would urge anyone to try it, and just see what it could do for you. I am always happy to answer any questions you think I can help you with. Feel free to message x

Lessons in Letting Go

Finally, a big lesson that I learnt this year was how blooming good it fills to let go! I read something earlier this year about decluttering. As I mentioned in this post, Nik and I are looking at moving. So, I felt I should start to really trim down the volume of stuff we have! I can be a little bit of a hoarder, (its the eco girl in me, everything get’s reused/repurposed), so I had to be tough with myself. The article advised that every single day, you get rid of 3 things. Now, these could be big or little. For example, a pen that no longer works. A book that you have read and not likely to re-read. A chipped mug. Whatever it is that you ae not likely to use, get rid of it. I have been doing this for the last few months. I don’t always get rid of 3 things, but every day I get rid of something. I also love the Stacy Solomon show Sort Your Life Out. It makes me much more bad ass in my decluttering! I literally have the most organised wardrobes in Essex!

I decided also it was time to let go of relationships that I have been holding onto. I know that might sound extreme, (and no, they are not thrown out….), but hear me out. Since Nik became unwell, we have assessed so many areas of our life. I have found that I really don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. The things that used to push my buttons, just don’t! The things that used to feel important, (material posessions, flashy cars ect), just don’t. I have also found that I don’t invest my precious time into things or people, that don’t make me feel good, uplifted, inspired ect. If a relationship feels one sided, I walk away. If I feel my efforts are not being matched, I walk away. I absolutely know my value and what I bring to the table, so if it feels time to part ways, I wish them nothing but the best, and walk away. Life is precious, and short, so know your worth and do what makes you and your loved ones happy.

Reflecting on the year – Conclusion

I think it is safe to say that this year is the year of the plot twist. I had kind of gotten used to the curve ball that The Pandemic had been throwing at us all. That did not phase me anymore. I had gotten used to the unpredicatability of my work/social life/travel life ect. But Nik’s battle with cancer again certainly made us re-set our course a few times. BUT, just like before, it taught us invaluable lessons. The day Nik got re-diagnosed, we did what we usually do, and went for a walk in the woods to process. Nature always seems to help us work through it all. As we walked, Nik voiced that he thinks this re-appearance of cancer has been sent with another lesson. We are still trying to work out what that is, (and I wish he did not have to suffer for it), but we know it will be so valuable.

It is so lovely to be back with you all. I cannot wait to get chatting with you again! If you are still here after my absence, thank you. I truly appreciate you xxxx