Is Social Media the New Validation Tool?

Is Social Media the New Validation Tool?

Ahhhhh, social media, the necessary evil of our times. Love of hate it, its here to stay. Grab your cuppa, lets discuss.

I will put it straight out there, Im not the most knowledgable or, if Im really laying my cards on the table, interested, in social media gal on the block. I know it rules the world, but I don’t get the rules. Personally, I never was into Facebook, (still not) so maybe I just don’t have that wiring? Its always, always been about writing for me, so maybe I havent as yet, mentally invested that heavily into social media?

**This is not in anyway discounting the importance and relevance social media has to us all, and is in no way passing judgement. You know me by now, I have a curious mind, over think everything and like to understand things. I just really, really want to hear what other people think about this subject**

This post was kicked off by a couple of things. Firstly, a conversation the other day with my two teenage sons, that obviously, have been born into the social media generation. They don’t know a life without social media. Isn’t that strange? Thankfully, they are not obsessive with it, and tend to use things like text and snapchat more than anything else. Chatting with them the other day about Instagram, (Im trying to understand it a bit more) one of my sons was telling me that if a photo that one his friends posts, (a girl), dosent get a certain amount of “likes” then she deletes the photo! She wouldnt leave a photo up on her grid that hasn’t reached a certain number of likes. It would upset her that she hadnt reached some level or standard that she had set herself. Whaattttt? It actually got me thinking about the very real impact social media could have on mental health. We, as a nation, are seeing increasing numbers of people suffering with mental health problems, all ages, all walks of life. Is social media fueling this?

As anyone that has been around on this ole blog of mine a while, Instagram is the platform that I dislike (and don’t understand, but am experimenting with, post coming on that soon) the most. Frankly, and do excuse my choice of wording here, its all bollocks! Its pretend. We all, me included, try to post the best photos that we can. Are we striving to create an image? Im not sure. Maybe. I have definitely had those moments of feeling like my Instagram dosent look nice enough, is not consistent with my blog content, not good enough. I want to make my photos better.

You will however, often see me make up free and in my pyjamas on my Insta stories, but, and this was the second thing that inspired this post,  someone actually messaged me to say that they thought I was brave, and wished they were as brave, to be bare faced on social media! Wtf! She actually said Brave? Brave? For not being dolled up to the nines, full face of make up all the time? I don’t live my life like that, why would I pretend I do! Im certainly comfortable with people seeing my flaws, Im a normal, carrying too much weight, slowly but surely becoming wrinkled, not particularly self-confident, crazy haired, 44 year old woman for gawds sake. I wasn’t offended, but, being the over thinker I am, I questioned if she was hinting I was a minger, or that as a beauty blogger, I shouldn’t be showing my flaws. For a few hours it worried me. It really hit home at where we are at with the craziness.

Iv voiced this before, but the part that I really struggle with, but interests me the most, (and there is absolutely no judgement here by the way, its curiosity) is the need for validation that it seems to ignite in people. Not only because I struggle to see why the acceptance of strangers is so important, but because I think it is dangerous and destructive for our mental health. However, I have also found myself, on low days, teetering on the edge of thinking Im not worthy or good enough. To who? What stranger am I worried about not liking me? Don’t get me wrong, I too want people to hit that like button on a photo I have worked hard to create, but, you have people that are usually pretty confident, strong minded people getting themselves het up because their last post only got x amount of likes or someone has unfollowed them. Whats it all about? I wish people already knew their own beautiful, perfect worth! Id love to really get into the bare bones of it and understand. Iv mentioned before that the psychology of the mind really fascinates me, so I thought Id do some exploring on this. Yes, Im weird, my own mind likes to connect with other minds and understand them….

Cast your minds back to being at school, (yes you orrible lot, I can still just remember those days). Those PE lessons when you all had to stand in a line, the popular kids were told they were captain, and the dreaded picking teams started. It was just horrible. My heart always went out to the less sporty girls, as you knew they would be standing there squirming, looking at the floor, just waiting for the torture to be over. I wonder, has social media become the new team picking? Is the desire to be picked, liked and accepted so in-ground in us from a young age, that social media facilitates and fuels that need ?

We all want to be liked. Its human nature. We all want to feel that peoples opinion of us is a good one. There is nothing wrong in that, and, I hope, it makes us better humans because we don’t set out to intentionally offend or hurt anyone. Within our families and friendship groups, we want to feel we are important to our friends/family and that our presence in their lives is valuable and enriching. Thats a given, But how has that extended into social media? People actually, sometimes invest more time and effort into the strangers on their social media than they do with the real people in their lives. How crazy is that? Someones actual mood/day can be affected by something a stranger has said on one of their photos (like me with the stories lady) or by the fact that someone unfollowed them. Let that sink in for a moment…………Its barmy no? Surely that is detrimental to our mental health. Having that level of investment in all the tosh? That is what fascinates me.

Think about what you like about social media. For me, twitter is fun and I like the banter on it. I like that so little can be said in so few characters. Its amusing and makes me laugh. With Instagram, I have two accounts. One is my personal account where I post my life pictures. Its a private account that I share with friends and family. Drunk photos, family photos, nights out etc, you get the picture (pun intended….) My blog Instagram is where things related to my blog are posted. Recently, (because Im trying a few hats on with it), its become a feed of slightly more themed, staged, thought out photos, with snippets of my life written up in the caption. You wont really see many photos of my friends and family, but you will see make up photos, product photos, pretty lifestyle type pictures, because that is what my blog is about.

Those are the sort of accounts I enjoy and follow too, lifestyle, interiors, beauty and travel type accounts. I do sometimes post on Instastories, and its the stripped down, (make up free, brave apparently) version of me. Usually just me voicing random thoughts. No act, no pretence.

But the casualness of Instastories is also changing. We have all seen the “sorry I haven’t been on all day” speeches that are given on some peoples stories if they have not posted for a few hours? Honestly, and this is a genuine question, do people even notice if someone hasn’t posted?? (I would love to know if you do notice if people you follow have or haven’t posted a story for a day, please let me know, its all in the name of research) Again, the fact that people feel they have to apologise for not posting a story for a day, shows their level of investment. They feel pressure to have to go on and say something, anything every few hours. Whats the fun in that! I saw recently, a biggish Instagramer, say that she felt her stories should be more professional and film like, as she had seen other big Instagramers do that. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! I beg of you, please don’t make Instastories like Instagram. Lets keep the more real, fun element to at least that bit.

So, I suppose this long ramble (well done if you are still here, we are nearly finished) is asking what you think about the affects of social media? Is it the new way we validate ourselves?

Does it bother you if your latest photo only gets a few likes? Do you love it, cant get enough of it? Do you look at your accounts first thing in the morning, last thing at night? Or do you feel it all lost its fun element?  Are you always watching your numbers? Do you feel that your popularity and acceptance on social media is important to you? Do you ever feel upset by something on social media and it affects your day? Do you ever feel anxious when posting? Thats a lot of questions eh? I really value and appreciate your input and opinions on this and feel free to be as honest as you like! 

 

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48 Comments

  1. February 18, 2018 / 1:23 pm

    Ummm I better go and just check my insta! 🙂 Ha — Well as a lady in her 50’s something but with a younger mindset (I guess) I totally get how easy it is to succumb to the “how many likes I get” “proves how good I’ve done” mindset or “am worth” “or whatever gets me feeling I’ve done it!” I have a blog too and although it’s in newbie stage I somehow don’t think insta is going to add to my readers on my blog. So I try to convince myself I do it for this reason. But so many others are fighting for attention… yep that word. That I wonder if we all should just pipe it down for a bit and not post so often. I mean heck what did we do to exchange social interchange in the olden days (ha) photo exchanging happened – but what a slow rate it was then. Anyway – better go and check my insta… Thanks for the thought provoking post 🙂 🙂 As always!

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 18, 2018 / 2:26 pm

      Ahhh Deborah you made me laugh, and you have 100% got a great, young mindset xx. You make a good point about the attention, I hadnt thought of it in that guise. Wouldnt it be a wonderful world where we, as people and bloggers, didnt feel the need to post as much on our socials. I always feel compelled to accompany a new blog post with a new Insta post. I feel I HAVE to. Great comment Deborah, I very much appreciate the food for thought you have added. have a wonderful day xxxx

  2. February 18, 2018 / 1:24 pm

    I used to care about the amount of likes I got but I stopped caring. I don’t get all that many anyway. My social media isn’t “Popular” but I don’t think I try to make it that way. I deleted Facebook two days ago now. I think the older I’m getting now, the less I care. I’m trying to show my kids that being on your phone all the time isn’t good. Great post and your blog pictures are always on point x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 18, 2018 / 2:30 pm

      well, that is a very kind thing to say, thank you xxx. Im the same, my socials are not my most popular thing, but for me its always been about writing so I am happy that my blog is more popular than my socials hahaha. I think us as parents have an important role to educate our kids in whats important dont you? I love that you say you are encouraging your kids to think that way. Its not good for any of our self esteem if we validate ourselves by likes. Thank you so much for your input. I really appreciate it xxx

      • February 19, 2018 / 2:33 am

        No problem at all 🙂 I agree, do have an important role to educate our kids in what’s important. My kids may huff at me when I tell them to get off their devices but they’ll thank me one day! I’m glad you wrote about this xxx

        • kerrylifeandloves
          Author
          February 19, 2018 / 8:57 am

          Thank you, I think its an interesting topic and everyones views are so interesting. XX

  3. February 18, 2018 / 1:29 pm

    I used to use instagram as a bit of fun and way to share pictures rather than piling hundreds onto facebook. I then later began using it as a tool for my blog, as well as opening a Facebook page (which I honestly rarely use). I feel instagram used to be fun, but now you get so many blog posts telling you how to make it coherent, how important it is, how it’s the be all and end all of directing traffic to your blog. I think it’s very competitive and, whilst I don’t remove images if they don’t hit a certain number of likes, I do feel disheartened if a picture doesn’t reach the same as others, And elated when they go far beyond what I would usually get. It feels like a pressure to post all the time so that you don’t get missed and bypassed 🤔.

    Long comment I’m sorry! Got me thinking though xx

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 18, 2018 / 2:37 pm

      Ohhh thank you so much for visiting, and your honesty, and never apologise for long comments. It what we love over here, and exactly why I love writing these, my brain vomit posts. I too use my blog Insta as a tool, and do feel pressure to post an accompanying photo when a new post goes up. Funnily enough, Insta is not a huge driver of traffic to my blog, but its a big enough factor that I feel I cant neglect it! I appreciate so much that you say that the likes you get on your pictures matter to you, I love that you are honest about that, with your self too. I blooming love that its got you thinking, you couldnt have said anything nicer to me! Thank you so much for your input xxxx

  4. February 18, 2018 / 1:45 pm

    Hiya! Love this post Kerry ☺️ I am a writer ‘by trade’ in that I’ve been writing for magazines since my late teens (I’m now 50) and that’s why I started my blog – cos I love to write. I really do worry about the mental damage social media causes and I can see it with loads of bloggers now. It’s a kind of frenetic need to be ‘popular’ and I’m not judging but I do find it tiresome. I do a bit of instagramming and tweeting and I do sometimes enjoy stories. I do it cos I feel I need to to keep my blog relevant and for it to be seen. But I’m not worrying about my images being perfect and arty/professional because it would mean trying too hard and not being authentic. I’m a bit of a messy haired, flappy old bird who likes a giggle and chat but basically I’m a bit CBA (can’t be arsed) to take it to a higher level which would mean so much more work, time away from real life and worry that I could never quite make it all ‘good enough’. I love my real life and my real friends and hats enough for me. I must say through, I do genuinely respect those fab bloggers who make their social platforms all looks so incredible and have loads of followers – I understand it is their job and good luck to them, that’s great and it’s their passion. But I do think we all need to just chill a bit – at the end of the day, when I’m taking my last breaths of life, I know I won’t be saying ‘shit, I wish I’d had more followers on instagram’ 😊❤️ Lovely post! Lisa xx

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 18, 2018 / 2:51 pm

      Hahahaha! What a brilliant way to put it! Maybe some will have it carved on their headstone, “here in lies xxxx, she/he had 100k followers” haha. I totally get where you are coming from, and I would say im very much like you. I can dress up and do glam, but on the whole, Im in my comfies, hair up, no make up on. That really is how my Insta should be if it was a true representation of me! I am enjoying trying harder with my photos, but I think that is in part due to my growing interest in photography. I will admit that the more tidy look to my Insta now, appeals more to my slight ocd for tidy. I am experimenting with my feed, trying to find what I like and how I want to use it. Iv never really figured it all out! I couldnt agree more with you about all needing to chill out over it. The countless, endless ‘follow trains” on twitter “follow me” begs and “follow/unfollow” twaddle really are a bit tedious. I suppose its different strokes for different folks, and as long as they are happy, sane and calm of mind, there is no harm. Thank you so much for your input, opinion and contribution. I appreciate it xxx

  5. February 18, 2018 / 4:15 pm

    Wow, that’s a lot of interesting questions!
    I like social media – most of the time. I occasionally have my “can’t be bothered” days, but part of that is because there is now quite a blurred line between my private life and both my websites, and how they are presented on social media.
    I like Twitter more now that you have extra characters. I don’t find the connections go as deep on there, but it’s a good way to communicate with people, have a laugh, and find new blogs to follow. I don’t open up very much on there though.
    You’ll get a more honest version of me on Facebook, but I don’t feel pressure to post all the time. I love it when I get likes or comments, but it wouldn’t ruin my day if I didn’t. I have, however, been upset by a stupid comment in a Facebook group, and it made me quite angry that I gave this person I didn’t know the power to derail my day. So I was determined to make something positive come out of it and wrote a post about how we can deal with negative comments on social media!
    I can’t really comment on Instagram because I only stuck with it for about a week. When you can’t see to take your own photos, and the only way to post is with a photo, it’s more limmitting than sites like Facebook or Twitter where you can post whatever you want (pictures, text, links etc). I also found that the things people were posting didn’t make much sense if you couldn’t see the pictures – or maybe I was just following the wrong people. In any event I didn’t enjoy it, so I quit!
    I’m in my mid-30s, so social media wasn’t a big thing when I was at school. I can see many advantages for people who are growing up with it now for keeping in touch with friends etc, but I imagine that for anyone who is having a hard time at school because of other students, it must feel as though they can’t get away, even when they go home. That must be really tough.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 18, 2018 / 6:34 pm

      Ohhh Im sorry about all the questions Kirsty, I kinda got excited and carried away haha! You seem to have a brilliant attitude to social media, and yes, one comment upset you (thats rubbish, sorry you had that) but you were able to see it for what it was pretty quickly, and turn it into a positive. that is a brilliant quality x. I empathise fully for Instagram with you, it would be a tad boring/confusing for you! Like you, I think there is a wonderful place for social media, like you say, keeping in touch with people, and if used in the way it was probably intended, is great. I agree about the youngsters and the pressure, I often say, I will forever be grateful that facebook etc wasnt around when I was in my younger days, can you imagine the photos! hahaha. Thank you so much for reading, and as ever, your brilliant insight and opinion. Always valid and appreciated xx Thank you xx

  6. February 18, 2018 / 5:14 pm

    It’s a very weird topic to be fair, I think social media can be super damaging and some people can get really obsessed with it and the gratification that comes with it. I do mostly like social media and having a nose at it but think it’s important we don’t overthink it or take it too seriously. Love your cuppa and chat posts, always get me thinking xx

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 18, 2018 / 6:37 pm

      Well you have made me a happy blogger, I love it if I get people thinking with my posts, thank you for saying that xxx. Maybe you have hit the nail on the head, its about balance and clarity. Putting importance and obsessing over something as trivial as whether my photo of my hot chocolate got a gazillion likes is madness. Good point x. Thank you so much for reading and giving your point. I blooming love that we get a good ole natter going on. Thank you xxx

      • February 18, 2018 / 6:58 pm

        Of course, always love reading them! Exactly like there’s other things to obsess about! Everything is pretty much just about balance and knowing when it’s time to take a break xxx

  7. Madi Dearson
    February 19, 2018 / 10:23 pm

    Love this post. Honestly I am one of these people who question social media – though I do use it, but I use it in a professional sense. I do not understand the culture of living through pictures, I am a bad Instagramer because I keep forgetting to take pictures of special moments because I am too busy living them. I don’t get why people try to create a fake image of their lives, I witnessed numerous times on outing with friends and their families- they were having a hellish day with their kids (as all of us do at times) and then post pastoral lovely pictures of a day out in the sun with their “angelic” kids, when really they couldn’t wait to get home and put them to bed – to me it does seem like a form of self validiation and I find it to be a little sad, I think people miss out on so many real moments trying to create pretend ones.
    It scares me when I see groups of friends sitting together but no one is communicating because they are all on their phones – snapchating or whatever. The one thing I do notice is much more young people with no real life social skills. As a blogger and an author I love the platform social media gives me – but I do not have a private Instagram account – you may see a few shots of me, and of my kids but with their backs to the camera. The thing i do love about all this is that it makes the world so small – I “meet” people from all over the world, and sharing information is so much easier.
    there – had a rant on my own.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 19, 2018 / 11:03 pm

      Ohhhh you rant on, your ranting is more than welcome here. Thanks for visiting x. I couldnt agree more with you about the constant need to “instastory” everything or post every life experience online. I truly think more people should just be present and live in/enjoy the moment. You worded that brilliantly, :missing out on moments trying to create pretend ones” thats such a great way to put it. you make a great point about the social skill side too, as well as the potential damage to self esteem, it hinders the building of social skills. I think the fact that it makes the world such a small place is what keeps us engage in it? Used in its originally intended way I think its a great thing. Hmmm, so much food for thought! Than you so much for visiting, and taking the time to voice your input. I really appreciate it xx.

  8. February 20, 2018 / 7:52 pm

    Ahh finally got to sit down and read this properly. I think Instagram is the worst of the social media evils – it really does bring out the worst in people and it’s quite literally creating this image of our lives and ourselves that we want the world to see. I think it’s very sad when people start taking social media too seriously and they can’t not check it for an hour. Even worse when it becomes their main way of interacting with people rather than in real life or good, old fashioned phone calls. I think social media is a great thing when used to help others, but it’s all about balance and we just need to keep it real! xxx

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      March 3, 2018 / 11:29 pm

      I missed this comment! I dont know how, Im sorry! I have slipped into that, I will be honest. I dont like to put pictures of myself on my Insta, so I started to challenge myself t create pretty pictures. Its not real life. Its a pretty picture. Does that make sense? Funnily enough, it has made me enjoy instagram a little more, as Im pushing myself to learn my way round my camera. Its helping me find some enjoyment in it. It is the huge investment some put into it, and like you say, interact more on that than they do the “real” people in their lives. Its an interesting subject isnt it x

  9. February 21, 2018 / 9:52 am

    Such a well-thought out and interesting article Kerry! I have a lot of online friends who I have met through Instagram and there’s people that I’ve been interacting with for years now – some of them we even discuss possibly meeting. But I also view Instagram as the business that it is.
    I do try to grow my account and play the ‘Instagram game’ – sticking to the rules of how to grow it. I know and have seen how many opportunities and doors it can open. But I don’t spend my life fixating.
    Society today has placed so much emphasis on fame and being a somebody. I think a lot of people want to be recognised and want the attention – probably more than the validation if that makes sense?
    I once did makeup on a couple of hugely successful bloggers and Instagram stars. Let’s just say that their lives were not as organised and perfect as they portrayed!
    What I also find even more worrying, is the absolute adoration people have for either certain influencers or celebrities. Like they over-obsess and become addicted to admiring someone and truly wishing to be them. It’s seems as though that is happening on a grand scale right now. xxx

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 21, 2018 / 12:13 pm

      Thank you Laura xx I have been experimenting with my Instagram, and the results have been quite a surprise. I felt I hadn’t really found my way with it, and just didn’t enjoy it. I now look at it as a place to post pretty pictures, but thats more my interest and growing desire to challenge myself, in taking pretty pictures and photography if that makes sense? I think you make a great point about the desire for “instafame” and the opportunities that people chasing it perceive it to bring. I know many bloggers have amazing paid opportunities via Insta, and I think so many chase that. Maybe its a combination of the “fame” and the validation? I think many seek fame as they see it as validation do you? Hmmm my brain could think about all this for days haha! I think the rise in “reality tv” has shown us the scale of adoration of “normal” people. its off the chart! Thank you so much for contributing such valid points, I appreciate your input, as ever xxxxx

      • February 21, 2018 / 4:09 pm

        I think the adoration for people in general is quite crazy. I mean – yes a person can sing well or act etc, but that doesn’t mean they are perfect and that we should worship the ground that they walk on.
        But I see so many accounts on both Instagram and twitter, that are actually scary. Just hours dedicated to being in love with a star.
        I’ve had great opportunities from Instagram and I think it’s great, but I’m not aiming to live my life as an Instagram star. I just think – do what you have to, try and get followers and interaction and keep it moving.
        I completely get what you mean about fame and validation. What Instagram has done, is set out a list of rules for people to abide by in order to look good – no spots, full eyebrows, big lips, designer clothes, preferably half naked on a beach – body super toned. And it’s left everyone trying to compete and feel as though they don’t measure up. Hence photo deleting.
        Apologies my awfully long rambling comment back but this topic really has me thinking! xxxxx

        • kerrylifeandloves
          Author
          February 21, 2018 / 9:27 pm

          Noooo dont apologise, I blooming love a good ramble, (crikey Im the queen of a long ramble haha). I absolutley love that we can all chat about this, and Im so grateful for everyones input. Im with you, its a subject that gets me thinking. More so perhaps because I have two teenage sons that I worry about getting sucked in to the perception of what they should be. I appreciate your input, thank you so much xxx

  10. February 21, 2018 / 12:47 pm

    Interesting read. When I initially started out on Instagram (to go along with the blog) I was so fixated on numbers , how many followers and likes etc. But by the end of the year it was affecting me so much that I had to take a break and re-access both insta and blog , and realise that I needed to be doing it for me and not for the likes!

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      March 3, 2018 / 11:25 pm

      Thats an interesting insight, thank you for your honesty. So do you think you became fixated with it because to you, the more likes or whatever meant the more blog success? Or do you think you just let it run away with you?

      • March 4, 2018 / 9:57 am

        Both I think. I guess it was about validation. And comparing myself to people who started around the same time as me. Like why do they have double the likes and followers , what are they doing that I’m not etc etc.
        it was then I realised I can only focus on myself and what I want to write and why I’m writing it.
        I won’t like I still have times where the numbers start to get to me but I take a bit of a step back and a few days break from Social Media to reset myself.

        • kerrylifeandloves
          Author
          March 4, 2018 / 10:14 am

          I actually totally understand what your saying. I can also slip into the comparison game sometimes, and I have to have a word with myself. Its supposed to be fun isnt it, so when I feel myself being Debbie Downer on myself, I give myself a telling off. You are so right about just focusing on what we do, enjoying what we write, and not taking it all too seriously xx

          • March 4, 2018 / 10:23 am

            Absolutely, I very nearly gave up altogether cause I was focusing on the wrong things! So glad I didn’t cause it’s a fun hobby for me. And I’ve no one in real life that gets having such a love for all things beauty related!

          • kerrylifeandloves
            Author
            March 4, 2018 / 10:24 am

            Ohhhhh I hear ya on that front! I live with all boys haha xx

          • March 4, 2018 / 10:25 am

            I work in a garage with greasey mechanics 🤣🤣🤣

  11. February 21, 2018 / 1:47 pm

    Back when I first started using Instagram I would be one of those people that deleted their photos if I didn’t get a certain number of likes b/c I felt like it wasn’t good enough compared to everything else I posted. But then I realized it doesn’t matter & I stopped worrying about likes. Now I mainly use Instagram to promote my blog posts (but I’ve been slacking a lot recently). I love using Twitter b/c I can easily share my blog posts as well as other posts & just random bits. I don’t really pay attention to my followers, but it’s nice when I get new followers b/c that means people are actually interested in what I post whether it’s on my blog or Twitter.

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 21, 2018 / 1:55 pm

      Thats interesting that you also did the delete thing Karalee. Since you stopped worrying about that, have you found that you enjoy the platform more, or is it purely a tool for your blog? Im glad that you have taken the pressure off yourself, thats a good thing x. Thank you for input, I love all the opinions people are sharing xx Thank you for reading x

      • February 21, 2018 / 8:12 pm

        Well I wouldn’t say I enjoy Instagram any more than before b/c it seems like there’s so many celebrities/influencers trying to get you to buy whatever sponsored product so I just use it as a tool for blogging.
        Twitter on the other hand I enjoy b/c I feel more free to just post/retweet whatever I want

  12. February 21, 2018 / 2:59 pm

    As much as I hate to admit it, I completely am of the social media generation and always look to social media for validation! I’ve never been one to delete a photo or post if it doesn’t hit a target, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel a little disheartened when it happens. I love and hate social media and keep considering doing a detox for a week or so… annoyingly social media is a massive part of my job and my current research project for uni and my blog so I can’t do it just yet. I strongly believe that social media doesn’t have a long life left though, I think so many people have realised how much it can effect their mental health and self worth that it doesn’t really seem worth it to scroll through thousands of meaningless memes and posts just to find one or two that are of interest. Something’s got to change sometime soon! Such a fab read, thanks for sharing! xoxox

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 21, 2018 / 9:54 pm

      Thank you so much for your honesty Shannon, I really appreciate it. Just out of interest (if you dont mind) do you get disheartened because you worked hard to create a photo, think it means its not a good photo etc? I think its very interesting that you feel SM has perhaps got a shelf life, thats an interesting thought isnt it! I truly think that social media contributes to poor mental health, so I totally agree with you, something needs to change! Thank you so much for your input xxxx

  13. Tracey
    February 21, 2018 / 3:16 pm

    Hi Kerry. I am a woman in her late forties who is a little bit ‘lost’ at the minute. I don’t really ‘get’ social media and have never really followed a blog, but I was in need of some inspiration. I’ve never had a clue when it comes to make up, beauty and fashion so I nearly missed your blog, but I stumbled across this cuppa and chat post and thought how beautifully and thoughtfully written it was. So I’ve just spent the last couple of days reading all your posts (including all the beauty ones). You have made me laugh, cry and think and I want to thank you for helping me through a tough few days. I wish you and your wonderful family all the best for the future. Your love and pride for them shines off the page. Thank you. x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 21, 2018 / 9:42 pm

      Ohhhh Tracey, I am so glad you stumbled across my little blog, and you have just made this old bird cry with happy tears. Wow. I have no words for what this lovely comment has meant to me. I understand that lost feeling, its that strange thing that passing another birthday can gift us, but please feel like you have found a friend here, always. I KNOW tough days, so if I have in anyway helped lighten the load for you, even temporarily, then I am over the moon. Thank you so much for the best wishes for my family, they hold my heart thats for sure. Im over the moon you found me, please dont be a stranger xx.

  14. February 21, 2018 / 4:00 pm

    Firstly I am 32 years old and really glad social media wasn’t much of a thing when I was at school. There’s enough things to worry about at that age!
    Personally I don’t have a separate Twitter or Instagram for my blog life, I just use the one. I’m been thinking about this a lot for a while now and don’t know if that’s good or bad. I have a separate Facebook though, as I don’t really like using my personal Facebook much. Facebook annoys me the most. Much of my personal feed is just full of people moaning. I have to confess I use Instagram the most of all the social media. I like that it is primarily photos and snapshots of peoples lives. Although I realise more and more of it is becoming fake. I’m guilty myself of using the odd filter! I try not to get too caught up in numbers or likes, but I don’t think we can help getting a little lift when good feedback is given.
    I’m currently taking part in a photo challenge which gives prompts daily. I enjoy taking snaps and looking through others. But you can tell the people like me that just take a snap to make a memory of a moment, and the people that take it very seriously to set up perfect photos. I enjoy looking at both, but couldn’t be the latter myself. Then I can see why when investing so much time in something, numbers do matter. A lot.
    This is such a complex subject, I could ramble on for hours. Thanks for the cuppa!

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 21, 2018 / 9:32 pm

      I know Gemma, it gets you thinking! Its amazing how we have all become so used to daily social media. I have been experimenting with my Instagram as I wanted to try to find what I like. I have found I enjoy trying to create a pretty picture, but that could be because Im not great at putting photos of myself up. Staging and creating a nice pic has maybe become my comfort zone, Im not sure, thats what Im trying to work out haha. I hope to do a post on my experiment, but want to run it for a while to give a full report! Thank you so much for your input and points, I am so grateful for the response xxxx

      • March 1, 2018 / 4:36 pm

        I think another reason mine are more ‘snapshots’ is because of my physical limitations. I would have to instruct somebody to do the arranging and fiddling. I think we all find our comfort. X

  15. February 21, 2018 / 5:43 pm

    I’ve never really been into social media as a whole. I haven’t used snapchat a lot, I only check twitter now and then.. Instagram I use to post pictures of my cats, of the weather, of my food or my make up if I’m having a good day. Couldn’t really care less about the numbers, I just like looking at what others post and get inspired by it all 🙂 Love these kinds of posts, it’s nice to know what others think of it too x

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 21, 2018 / 9:23 pm

      Im the same Lise. social media isnt really my bag, but I do like twitter. Its so interesting to find everyones thoughts on it isnt it, I love how we all have an opinion. Thank you for reading and commenting xxx

  16. February 25, 2018 / 7:39 pm

    I love this post!!! I love all posts that question today’s use of social media, lol!
    I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I liked social media when it was still a social and relaxed thing. You shared news and moments with your friends. Now everything has gone too far. Social media nowadays are mostly used for promoting businesses, there’s nothing social with it anymore. Facebook is terrible and I’m still on there only because of my friends in Italy and Ireland, and family who live far away. I liked Instagram when it was separate from Facebook. I liked how people shared photos of their day or special moments. Simple snapshot taken with phones. Now that too has become a business promotion platform, and the algorithms are destroying the fun with it. Same thing on Facebook where there’s no point with posting anymore because people don’t see it if you’re otherwise inactive on Facebook.

    I have a personal Instagram account and one for my whiskey blog. I’m very interested in photography and use Instagram sort of to “show off” my photography. Of course I enjoy likes but I enjoy comments more (I’ve never understood the “like” hysteria, conversation is more fun and “like” buttons destroys conversation because people are lazy and just tap “like”). Nowadays Instagram is very boring because of how the feed works and all the ads, and I use it mostly because it’s a habit and as a photographer you “should” use it.
    For the whiskey account I see it more like a way to connect with whiskey people and kind of be known in the irish whiskey circles. I use this account a lot more than the personal account. Obviously I like reactions to my posts especially when “relevant” people like them (for example the producers of whiskey I post about), but my self worth, wellbeing etc aren’t dependent on the numbers. Really I would happily ditch both Facebook and Instagram if it wasn’t for the above reasons and that they have a value if you want to do business.

    I hate how social media has developed and how much fake crap there is on there, and how it’s being used for bad stuff. I’ve invented an own slogan for Facebook – “brings out the worst in people” because in many circles people are truly horrible there. I don’t even want to read comment threads anymore because they usually horrify me.

    I do like Twitter because I can collect news and connect with people at the same time and it’s a good tool for people to follow my blog(s).
    I generally think social media (other than maybe Twitter) have become very boring and I hate the business idea most social media sites have – that you are the product that they sell to advertisers.
    Sorry for such a long comment again. 🙂

    • kerrylifeandloves
      Author
      February 25, 2018 / 7:58 pm

      Ohhhh Susanne, you and I need to get together and have one of those Irish Whiskies! We very much talk the same language! Please, don’t ever apologise for a long comment, that is exactly what feeds my soul. Like you, conversation is where it is at for me and I love hearing all what people have to say! I have also become bored of Instagram and its selling and fake lives, so, because I know I need it for my blog, I have started to use it as a way to push myself a little in the photography stakes. I am in no way, shape or form a photographer, but i am slowly learning my way around a camera, and beginning to enjoy the challenge of creating a pretty picture. Thats how I am finding joy in Insta. You make a great point about a like button being the lazy way, and my experimenting that I have been doing with Instagram really has highlighted that. I much prefer to be left a little comment, something that shows someone has actually read the caption! You hit the nail on the head, its lost its “social” side. Ohhhh I think you and I could chat all evening about this! Thank you so much for your very much appreciated input. Im so glad you popped across and commented. Just as imprtantly, I need to find and book mark your blog! My father in law is a huge lover of Irish Whiskey (not Scottish) and its quite difficult to get good Irish ones here, unless we go into London. Even our nearest Whiskey shop only carried two Irish brands! I need you in my life hahaha xx Thank you again Susanne, I look forward to chatting more x

      • February 25, 2018 / 9:47 pm

        By the way – seeing that you’re in the UK we could actually meet for chats and a cuppa or dram eventually! And regarding photography – I’ve seen your Instagram pics and yours are loads better than mine. You’re definitely a photographer. Everyone who takes photos in a focused way (considering camera settings, off auto mode, thinks of composition etc) is a photographer!

        • kerrylifeandloves
          Author
          February 25, 2018 / 9:59 pm

          Yes! We should meet, Im always up for a cuppa and a chat. I will visit your website, thank you. Well that is incredibly kind of you regarding my photos! They never turn out exactly how my vision sees them, but Im trying haha! Thank you for the lovely compliment xxxxx

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