A little impromptu, impulsive post from me today. There is no other reason for this blog post, other than for me to write a light hearted post for a bit of fun. My life has been a little testing since Christmas, so why not indulge in some silliness eh? It has made us chuckle thinking of all the ways I have got injuries over the years. Laughter is always welcomed.
If you are following me over on Instagram, it would come as no surprise to you that I am a klutz. I can trip over air, fall over on a regular basis, and have constantly got at least half a dozen bruises over my arms and legs. In this post, Im going to share with you a few of the slightly strange ways that I have incurred injury!
The Unintentional Tattoo
So, you know I love animals and creatures of any kind? Well, when I was a child I used to collect snails from the ditches over the park. I would then line them up, to see if they would race. (yes I admit, it was a slow process to find the winner, speedy they are not). One particular race day, me and my friend were taking notes on which snail came first etc, (it was a serious business this snail racing) Well, I lent forward to see who had crossed the line first, and the pencil my friend was holding, went in my eye. Well, not in the eye ball, but about a centimetre below. The lead got stuck in my skin, and even when removed, it left a black mark. To this day, 40 years later, I have that black mark under my eye. The permanent reminder and sign of my life as a snail trainer extraordinaire……..
The Jam Roly Poly and a Third Degree Burn
Yeah, I know, strange title. So, this one I feel was a little karma. I had to hold my hands up and admit I probably deserved it a little. I had one of those little microwave puddings. You know the ones you put in the microwave for a minute and you have a delicious little pudding just waiting for custard? Yep, one of those. A Jam Roly Poly. BUT. The key information here is I had one pudding. There was one pudding, I live in a family of four, I wanted that pudding. So, I decided to have it at lunchtime before anyone got home. No one had to know right?
Well, in my haste to get it cooked and eaten, I misred the packet instructions. I thought it said 3 minutes, it said 30 seconds! When the magical sound of the microwave ping went off, I skipped and jumped over to the microwave, and my chubby little Augustas Gloop hands, grabbed the pudding from within. As you can imagine, it was well over heated. The container had lost all its form, it was totally floppy. The pudding, with its jammy bits bubbling, tumbled out, splatting onto my bare foot. The jam in the roly poly was spiteful, and instantly began to melt through the flesh on my foot. I was crying with the pain, grabbed a cup of water and slung it at my foot to cool it. Of course, jam sticks, so it carried on biting into my skin. In a panic, I did what we all do, I phoned my Mum. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital with a third degree burn to my foot. Although the medical staff were very professional, I can imagine how they laughed in the tea room!
The Sad Loss of a Dimple
I was a kid that loved to explore. You would often find me up a tree or in a ditch looking for creatures. I just loved to explore my surroundings (no change there then). Well, when I was about four, I climbed up the apple tree that was in our garden. I was Queen of my castle, a brave, intrepid explorer, and was balancing on one of the branches, being look out. It turns out I wasnt as sure footed as an intrepid explorer as I thought I was. I lost my footing and fell out of the tree, tearing my cheek on a branch on the way down. A couple of stitches to sew up the injury meant that as it healed and scar tissue formed, my dimple on my right cheek was lost. I am Queen Kerry One Dimple.
The Tin of Cars Drama
I have an older brother. He is two years older, but I was massively independent and determined to do whatever my brother did. When I was 3 or 4, my brother and I were trying to move all of his vast toy car collection from upstairs to down. Serious business if we wanted to play garages! He was giving me just a few to carry, but I was convinced and insistent, that I wanted to carry the large tin that was full of cars. I took it from my brother, stepped onto the stair, but as I couldnt see where I was going, (the tin was almost half my size), I went tumbling down the stairs, all the cars tumbling after me. I ended up with a broken arm, and cuts on my face from those blooming tin cars raining down on me. Damn my independant self!
The Killer Candle Holder
Most accidents happen in the home. Well, in my case, this one was in the home, by a candle holder……OK, it wasnt quite a killer candle holder, but I reckon it would have progressed onto killing, given half the chance. Devilish thing it was. When I was trying to build up my beauty business, I had another job in the evenings, working for Partylite, the candle company. I used to go into peoples home and do a “show” where I would showcase the products etc. My kit was huge, and it was kept in three massive canvas bags. Well, this particular day, I had gotten all of my kit out to clean it, and the bags were in my hall way, ready to go back in the garage. As is the norm when you have young kids, have two jobs, a home and a husband to look after, I was rushing about as ever. I was bringing in shopping bags from the car, not really looking where I was going, and I tripped up one of the bags. I fell forward, and one of the pillar candle holders, a metal, morrocan inspired candle sleeve, literally sliced up my shin. It acted like a vegetable peeler, and peeled the skin up my shin. Another call to my Mum, another trip to hospital, and another set of stitches up my leg. Brilliant!
If you fancy another “just for fun” post, you could pop across to 45 Facts on my 45th Birthday.
I could go on and on with a few more of these calamities, but I think thats enough for today! I will tell you another day about the time I was knocked out by a mattress, oh and the time I was attacked by a bird, which pecked my head until I bled….. I must have been a mare of a child to parent I reckon. What do you think? Let me know what your favourite of these little mishaps are. I hope you found them amusing!